Are you getting tired of your children’s daily fighting? Has it become a daily, tiring routine? Congratulations! You have independent children who are trying to negotiate and impose their opinions through fighting because they are still too young to have the proper social skills.
Between the first and the fifth year of age, educational specialists perceive fighting as a good chance for children to develop problem-solving skills such as negotiating and respecting other people’s opinions and feelings. That, of course, doesn’t imply that you have to fire up arguments on purpose, but you certainly need to invest in their fights to strengthen family ties. Disagreements between siblings that get worked out properly help them grow an open-minded attitude towards the different types of people they’ll meet in the nursery or at school. Fighting itself is not actually the problem, what should concern you is the bad behaviors that accompany.
Jealousy or competition between siblings are of the main causes of your children’s quarreling and bickering. These squabbles could also be a result of one’s attempt to control the other, but more often than not, your children’s squabbling is just a reflection of your fights as parents.
Treating the problem should start before the “battle” flares up by reminding them of things they are good at and assuring them that you’ll be happier if they play quietly and respectfully. Let your eldest understand that they are responsible for their younger siblings and not supposed to be their competitors.
Today, we are offering you some pieces of advice to help you survive your children’s fights. In most cases, there is no need for you to intervene, or you’ll deprive your kids the chance to work out their tiffs on their own. Ignoring actually will help you lessen their future arguments if you see that your kids are merely fighting to seek your attention. Don’t shout or scold them as soon as the fight starts, and never punish the one at fault before talking through the problem. Taking sides will get things heated and create negative feelings, so try to treat them fairly when you intervene in a fight.
If you think you have to get involved, then the purpose of your intervention should be all about helping them find solutions by themselves. Don’t make them wait for your judgment. Listen to each one of them for one minute asking them to explain why they are cross with the other.
You can resort to punishment when one of them gets hurt or when the fight escalates into insults. Here, you have to separate them and make the blameworthy apologize.
Fights can be minimized by encouraging children to work together without comparing them to one another. Teach your kids to express their anger respectfully. Most importantly, never fight in their presence because a role model is all your children need. You have to set a good example of someone who can contain their anger and negative feelings.
Finally, don’t promise yourself you’ll be able to end your children’s fighting because you simply won’t. It is a natural part of their life as they are growing up and experimenting with their social boundaries. Seek help from the nursery teachers, and ask them to teach children cooperation and respectful expression of negative emotions. These are the principles we work by at “Little Academy Nursery”.